Stay at Home Mom

As parents we all know that it is in our kids best interest to limit their TV time. We also know that it is in our best interest ( and our family’s ) that we take a shower on occassion. When the kids are young that may mean letting them watch some TV while you jump in the shower or start dinner or whatever it is that you need to do.

But we also know that what goes into their young impressionable brains stays there and the old saying “Garbage in – Garbage out” holds true.

If you are letting them watch garbage shows then you know what you can expect. Kids who hear bad language on TV repeat it. Kids who see bad behavior on TV repeat it. If TV were not that impressionable then companies would not spend millions of dollars for 30 second spots of advertising on it.

So, what is a parent to do? The short answer for our family was TIVO. When we got our first TIVO years ago it changed our life. We were able to watch our favorite show when we wanted to and we could watch football games as a family ( the pause feature allowed us to pause the game and only restart it when everyone had had a chance to take a bathroom break or go to the kitchen for a snack ). So, I love TIVO.

But now TIVO is even smarter – if that is possible. It can be managed from the Internet. With a few clicks of the mouse you can program your TIVO online and make sure the kids are catching the programming you want them to watch and not the garbage you don’t.

We recently received info on a new program put together by the Smart Television Alliance that allows you to do just that. Visit their website for more information and there is also a great sweepstakes going on right now ( last day to enter is Dec 25 so check it out now )

ENTER TO WIN

We have all known this is just entertainment – setting the record straight on Baby Einstein http://bit.ly/yQYjD

That was the headline on Twitter today that got the most attention.

At issue is the video series “Baby Einstein”. I am going to quote from the company because so much of the controversy today stems from misunderstanding.

Baby Einstein products are designed to provide parents with tools that promote interaction and also expose their little ones to the world around them in playful and enriching ways. What started as a “digital board book” has become a broad array of products for infants and their parents.
Baby Einstein has built its reputation on creating developmentally and age appropriate content that parents know they can trust.

This is of course, the product description as of September 2009. When the DVDs first came out they did make some claims that this product would help your childs mental development in one way or another.

The science behind it demonstrates that children under the age of 2 are really better off not watching TV at all.

Now, Disney, who purchased the Baby Einstein company in 2001, is offering a refund to anyone who bought the product between June 5, 2004, and Sept. 4, 2009.

The articles on everything that led up to this refund can be found all over the Internet today and it is really quite remarkable. Some articles are quite reasonable while others are downright irate at the “scam” that was pulled off on the gullible mothers of America.

We agree that the new description of the products and their purpose is improved over unsubstantiated but well meaning claims of brain development. At the same time as Moms we know instinctively that it would be better for a two year old to avoid TV. We know it is better for our kids to eat their vegetables. It is better if we make sure they stay to a strict sleep schedule. Ok ok – we got it.

But if you have just spent a sleepless night and this one little delightful video will calm your child down enough to give us a moment to hop in the shower without having to endure the shrieks and screams of a fussy newborn – I’m going to say “press play”. Is that wrong?

We need a balance. We know intellectually what we need to do to help provide our children with everything they need – that is to sit down with them on the floor and play with them. And that doesn’t cost a thing. But a nice warm shower is really a good good thing every now and then too.

I can appreciate those who want to defend children and prevent them from being over media-ized but at the same time I appreciate the playfulness of the Disney Baby Einstein DVDs.

Is it too late for me to get a refund on all those Barney the purple Dinosaur VHS tapes in my basement?

Recently I had the chance to sneak out of a conference I was attending for a quick dinner with an old college friend. We had not seen each other in a long time and it was fun to just be there with her and catch up with her. No big group – no kids running everywhere – no distractions. Our biggest decision was whether to have the seared tuna or the pasta dish. ( I opted for tuna – it was amazing – it is always fun eating a dinner that no one at home would want and would probably complain about if you served it ).

The hour flew by. We had just scratched the surface of all the things we wanted to talk about. Just around 7 her phone rang and it was her kids. I have only met her kids briefly but they are DAAArling. They wanted to call to make sure she was going to be home in time for kick off. Family football night was that night and their favorite team was playing.

One thing you have to know about this friend of mine – she is an amazing mom. Her kids are darling and very polite. They play together really well and even though they aren’t even in first grade yet they are making their own beds. As parents her husband and her have given the kids a wonderfully creative and yet structured environment to play and grow. She is calm with them and leads by example.

So, as we sat there at the restaurant catching up on the past decade (or so) and the phone rang she was very apologetic about having to dash out to make kick off.

I tried to reassure her that there was no need for apologies. You don’t get second chances to make memories with your kids. They learn from repetition and consistency. They learn trust from promises made and delivered. No apologies necessary.

As moms we need to support each other and let each other know that there is no apology necessary if you want to go spend time with your kids. They really do grow up too fast and there will be plenty of time to get together with your girlfriends for a leisurely dinner when the kids are grown.

Take care of your friendships while the kids are growing – but surround yourself with people that support your positive parenting. And do not make apologies for spending time with those little people that adore you.

So many moms I talk to stress out about all the input they get from other people about how they should be raising their child.  So, we scour books and seek out experts to reassure us that we are giving our child the best opportunity to grow up in a happy and healthy environment.

But perhaps what we should do is to calm down just  abit, trust ourselves, and have a nice cup of coffee with our girl friends.

Read the Full Article in support of Moms as experts

How do we raise respectful, responsible children who know how to practice civility?  One dad’s solution was to turn off the TV.

READ HIS FULL ARTICLE HERE