Stay at Home Mom

It is the big romantic holiday of the year and that can put alot of pressure on our guys. TV and magazines are telling all of us that if he truly loved us he would sweep us off our feet, buy us diamonds and have chocolate covered strawberries chilled on ice ( even though we are trying to lose weight ).

But is that really love. This Valentines day we have a chance to really show our kids what love is all about and help them to build strong loving relationships when they grow up. Love isn’t the bump and grind seen on music videos – it’s paying attention in the quiet moments. It’s listening. It’s laughing. It is watching silly movies together ( and occassionally one with lots of explosions ). It is not getting irritated when one or the other of you slurps down their cornflakes in the morning or leaves toothpaste goo on the sink. It is the big picture of building a life together.

Kids rarely learn what we tell them – they learn what they see. So, this valentines day remember its not about whether he buys us the biggest diamond ( or any diamond at all ). It is about the little affections that we show to each other and share with each other every day that lets the other person know we care and we love them. We are teaching our kids how to love.

And we need to let them know that we shouldn’t just wait for one special day a year to treat each other with a little extra love.

So this is a big Stay at Home Mom Valentines Day Wish for every mom out their that they can look around and realize we already have everything we need right here.

(ok super sappy I know but I am feeling a little gushy today – I think I need some chocolate).

From today’s twitter headlines

Parents travelling w/ very young children need to know! What happened to this child and why? READ FULL ARTICLE

This is a tragic story and our hearts ache for this family. But we can’t just leave it at that. Many parents travel every day with their young children (Many adults who don’t have kids often wish they wouldn’t but that’s another story). But the fact of the matter is on most airplane trips these days you will see at least one small child on the plane. Invariably these kids are accompanied by parents lugging a cumbersome amount of carry-ons and wheeling a mega-stroller. But when you have kids you have stuff so there you go.

It is hard enough to fly with a child and try to anticipate their every need while still packing the smallest amount of stuff necessary to accommodate the carry-on requirements.

That is why it is vital for us as parents to know why this 2 month old child died on a flight from Detroit to Denver. The story indicates that there is no autopsy planned, the child appeared to be in good health and because of patient privacy issues no statements may ever be made.

I think I understand the immense grief that must be going on with this family right now but there is still a chance that other parents can learn something from this and possibly other children could be saved. Was this a case of SIDS or is there something else to be learned? This is not a morbid, tabloid magazine, curiosity about this story but truly one of saving other children from the same terrible tragedy.

We will continue to try and follow this story as best as possible but if anyone hears anything that we miss please let us know. Leave your comments here of tweet us @sahm411

As parents we all know that it is in our kids best interest to limit their TV time. We also know that it is in our best interest ( and our family’s ) that we take a shower on occassion. When the kids are young that may mean letting them watch some TV while you jump in the shower or start dinner or whatever it is that you need to do.

But we also know that what goes into their young impressionable brains stays there and the old saying “Garbage in – Garbage out” holds true.

If you are letting them watch garbage shows then you know what you can expect. Kids who hear bad language on TV repeat it. Kids who see bad behavior on TV repeat it. If TV were not that impressionable then companies would not spend millions of dollars for 30 second spots of advertising on it.

So, what is a parent to do? The short answer for our family was TIVO. When we got our first TIVO years ago it changed our life. We were able to watch our favorite show when we wanted to and we could watch football games as a family ( the pause feature allowed us to pause the game and only restart it when everyone had had a chance to take a bathroom break or go to the kitchen for a snack ). So, I love TIVO.

But now TIVO is even smarter – if that is possible. It can be managed from the Internet. With a few clicks of the mouse you can program your TIVO online and make sure the kids are catching the programming you want them to watch and not the garbage you don’t.

We recently received info on a new program put together by the Smart Television Alliance that allows you to do just that. Visit their website for more information and there is also a great sweepstakes going on right now ( last day to enter is Dec 25 so check it out now )

ENTER TO WIN

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We have all known this is just entertainment – setting the record straight on Baby Einstein http://bit.ly/yQYjD

That was the headline on Twitter today that got the most attention.

At issue is the video series “Baby Einstein”. I am going to quote from the company because so much of the controversy today stems from misunderstanding.

Baby Einstein products are designed to provide parents with tools that promote interaction and also expose their little ones to the world around them in playful and enriching ways. What started as a “digital board book” has become a broad array of products for infants and their parents.
Baby Einstein has built its reputation on creating developmentally and age appropriate content that parents know they can trust.

This is of course, the product description as of September 2009. When the DVDs first came out they did make some claims that this product would help your childs mental development in one way or another.

The science behind it demonstrates that children under the age of 2 are really better off not watching TV at all.

Now, Disney, who purchased the Baby Einstein company in 2001, is offering a refund to anyone who bought the product between June 5, 2004, and Sept. 4, 2009.

The articles on everything that led up to this refund can be found all over the Internet today and it is really quite remarkable. Some articles are quite reasonable while others are downright irate at the “scam” that was pulled off on the gullible mothers of America.

We agree that the new description of the products and their purpose is improved over unsubstantiated but well meaning claims of brain development. At the same time as Moms we know instinctively that it would be better for a two year old to avoid TV. We know it is better for our kids to eat their vegetables. It is better if we make sure they stay to a strict sleep schedule. Ok ok – we got it.

But if you have just spent a sleepless night and this one little delightful video will calm your child down enough to give us a moment to hop in the shower without having to endure the shrieks and screams of a fussy newborn – I’m going to say “press play”. Is that wrong?

We need a balance. We know intellectually what we need to do to help provide our children with everything they need – that is to sit down with them on the floor and play with them. And that doesn’t cost a thing. But a nice warm shower is really a good good thing every now and then too.

I can appreciate those who want to defend children and prevent them from being over media-ized but at the same time I appreciate the playfulness of the Disney Baby Einstein DVDs.

Is it too late for me to get a refund on all those Barney the purple Dinosaur VHS tapes in my basement?

Exclusive engagements of MOTHERHOOD begin on Friday, October 23

The movie “Motherhood” opens this weekend and is one mom’s story taking place all in one day. We have had the chance to talk with the stars of the movie and the director over the past few weeks and this is definitely a show you will want to see on the big screen with your friends or even your husband.

Leave your comment here about a favorite moment you have experienced being a mom for a chance to win this adorable leakproof thermos sippy cup.

Join the discussion about the film MOTHERHOOD on their Facebook page

Follow them on Twitter ( tons of fun on facebook and twitter because they are very active – they are posting and tweeting often! )

Exclusive engagements of MOTHERHOOD begin on Friday, October 23

Yes, they are three consecutive letters in the alphabet but they are also very important letters for all of us Stay at Home Moms. MNO means “MOMS NIGHT OUT!”.

It is our night. Dad can stay with the kids – heck he can even get them dinner and put them to bed. Every now and then it is Mom’s turn to get together with the girlfriends and wear something nice without worrying “will that permanently stain if someone urps on my shoulder?” You can even wear dangley earrings without worrying about a little hand reaching up and grabbing them right out of your earlobe.

Tonight is your night to relax and have a few laughs. My kids are a little bit older now and so Moms nights out come a little more frequently but I still remember when an evening out was almost better than a nice long hot uninterrupted bath ( although those were always welcome too ).

It is nice to remember you can say things one time to friends and they get it – you don’t have to say everything three times before it sinks in “shut the door shut the door SHUT the door”.

October 23 is Stay at home moms official MNO – MOMS NIGHT OUT!
Get together with a girlfriend or two or three and go see “Motherhood” starring Uma Thurman. Usually, on MNO we encourage moms to talk about books or philosophy or lipstick or anything – anything at all other than the kids. But on October 23 we make an exception. It is all about the kids and the glories of being a Mom. It’s time to celebrate all of our wonderful imperfections, dreams and aspirations and have a laugh ( and maybe even a few tears ) with our friends around us.

We will be tweeting all day @sahm411 about the movie and getting info from all of those of you who are lucky enough to be in one of the major cities where this movie is premiering.

Send us your pictures of your night out and we’ll post them here.

Have fun! It’s your night.

October 23, 2009

Stayathomemom.com officially announces Mom’s night out.

One of the things that keep us sane – especially during those years when the kids are little – are those connections we have with our friends.

When my kids were very little I actually took a girls retreat for an entire weekend. It was only once a year but it carried me through the rest of the year and restored my necessary patience load that had somehow depleted throughout the previous year.

This October 23 is the PERFECT night to get together with your girl friends and treat yourself to a night out for several reasons.

1. If you haven’t already lined up the halloween costume by then you know you will be tying plastic snakes in her hair and calling her Medusa or slapping together some other uber easy costume.
2. Once you hit October 31 you enter full on holiday season and getting together for a leisurely night out will be a challenge

and

3. ( Most importantly ) October 23 is the premier of “Motherhood” the film – starring Uma Therman.

Face it – on Mom’s night out you are probably going to end up talking about the kids anyway. This movie is sure to bring us all together in our motherhood humanity and the challenges that we all face – even when those challenges all happen in one single day.

Remember: It’s not babysitting when the dad is watching the kids – it’s a special night at home with daddy and kids to watch movies together, pop popcorn, play games, and maybe even stay up late.
But if you need to then pool a babysitter and meet over at one friends house with a couple of babysitters and let them watch a few kids. It can be a great night for everyone. ( more on night out solutions later ). Don’t let the lack of a babysitter keep you from Moms night out October 23.

There is one reason that families have more than one child and that is we forget. Some people call it post-partum amnesia. The thing is it can go on for years. We forget. It is one of the wonderful things about being a mom.

Before we become mothers we look at other people and their screaming children and we think, “I would never let my child scream like that” or “I’m not ever going to let a child of mine have a runny nose like that” or “No synthetic fabric will ever touch my childs skin”. We have this idea of what it will be like when we have kids. Before we have kids we live in ignorant bliss thinking that somehow we can have kids and they will fit into our lifestyle.

Then, we get pregnant. I have actually talked to some women who love being pregnant – and thats great. But for alot of moms it is a means to an end. Then we find ourselves in a delivery room with a paper thin kind of robe on our bodies that really does nothing to protect our modesty in a room full of people who hopefully we have met prior to this moment but probably haven’t. Besides that if we saw them in the hallway 10 minutes after the blessed event we probably wouldn’t even recognize them anyway. It is a blur.

Before the birth of my first son my mom sat me down and suggested that we should probably talk about what to expect. She told me “It hurts and then its over”. OK. I thought to myself at the time that those comments were really no help to me at all but in fact they were true. The next day we welcomed our darling baby boy into the world. And as I remember it now he was a perfect child. So perfect in fact that we thought we should do that again.

During the birth of our second son I was in a hospital where a woman down the hall had arrived too late for an epidural and I could hear her screaming in a very clear and distinctive yet primal voice “This Hurts”. Not very calming for the rest of us moms to be on that floor but what were we going to do – we were committed to this thing at that point.

So, we go on and we somehow blissfully forget. How can any of that matter when you look into your babies eyes for the first time.

My baby is now 11 and starting middle school and I had almost forgotten most of it. Not the good stuff. I remembered all that – birthday parties and first sightings of butterflies and moments of delight. As I look into the eyes of these wonderful growing up people I clearly remember jumping on beds and laughing at the goofiest things. But there were many memories I had managed to forget for the most part.

That is until today.

I watched the trailer for the new movie coming out in October “MotherHood” ( CLICK HERE to watch the trailer ). A wave of memories came flooding back. That’s right….I remembered. I wear sweatpants and a t-shirt to bed because one time I did drive the kids to school in my jammies and was totally busted. I had almost entirely forgotten about that. Now, if I roll out of bed and we’re running late and someone sees me in sweat pants they might even think I was getting in a work out before getting the kids up and ready for school… ( of course before having kids I would never have thought of wearing sweatpants to bed and even worse I would never have left my house in jammies but things change ). And we forget.

It is hard to make a movie about the mommy experience because it is so universal and so unique all at the same time. This movie seems to have found that chord that rings true and connects with the universal mom without making her too cliche.

Check out the trailer and let us know what you think.

Tweet your reviews ( in 140 characters or less ) to
Twitter.com/sahm411

Forgetting some of these things is not necessarily a bad thing and either is remembering. The one cliche I heard over and over again when my boys were very little was “Enjoy every second of it because they are grown in a blink of an eye”. “All right Old Lady” I would think to myself, “That’s all fine and good but I was up all night last night checking to make sure their diapers were dry and they were breathing and this is going to go on for years – how can you expect me to believe that this will seem like a blink of an eye”. And then, in a blink of any eye, it is 11 years later and they don’t need to be tucked in to bed any more or read a bed time story.

We had a strength in us that got us through some of the craziest times and then we sort of forgot about all that.

But sometimes it is good to remember.