Beyond Burnout

Being a Stay at Home Mom is a tough job. This last week, tragically, we have been reading about one Stay at Home Mom who apparently had a mental breakdown and threw her 6 year old off a bridge. She had asked for help. She had reached out. There is no excuse for throwing your child off the bridge. None.

This is not the first time that something like this has happened. It is also not the first time that someone has murdered a child. But when this act is done by the child's mother the case is exponentially horrific. Your mom is supposed to watch out for you and love you and keep you safe. This case is the definition of tragedy.

So what do you do when you feel overwhelmed and burned out?

Here are a few tips to remember

1. YOU ARE NOT ALONE

It seems like it. Often. You have these little people around you who adore you but they will challenge you in every way imaginable. Just remember - you are note alone.

2. If you are getting the same answer to your question - ask a different question.

In the case of this recent tragedy the news reported that this woman did reach out for help. But she didn't get any help. But when she made a video blog of herself she said that everything was fine and that although times were tough they would be fine.

If you need help and someone says no - then ask someone else. There is help out there. There are people who care. Go to your church.  Go to your school district - even if your kids are too young for school there may be someone there who knows the exact person you need to connect with.

But do ask for help. Don't just tell the world you are fine when everything inside is spiraling out of control. And when you are not getting the help you need reword your question or ask a different person.

3. Tomorrow will be a new day

These little people will challenge you like you have never been challenged before. The house will be messy. Your body is not the same as it was before kids. The friends you once hung out with all of a sudden seem to have Fabulous lives and you are mired in diapers (this is not true actually but that is how it seems). When you are feeling burned out and exhausted just remember tip #1 and hold on.

Focus on just the things that absolutely must get done (taking care of the baby - feeding the baby - smiling and laughing with your baby) and let other things slide. The laundry will wait for you. It will even pile up for you. But you have to take care of yourself along with your bambino and that is what is more important.

Try to get to sleep early - do not medicate your exhaustion with watching TV late into the night. Your little bundle of joy will wake you up enough. Getting enough sleep is really not easy, especially for moms with young kids around, so make sure you give yourself as much of a chance as possible to ensure that you have the energy you need during the next day.

4. All your kids really need from you is a hug and a smile

We get so caught up in trying to give our kids every opportunity for their success that sometimes we forget that they really really need from us is that warm smile and just to know that there is a place in this world where they can always go and get a hug and a smile.

5. When in doubt watch the Princess Bride

If you can't find a way to laugh during your day then get some help from Andre the Giant, Andigo Montoya, the farmboy, Peter Falk, Billy Crystal, and the rest. It's silly fun.

As a Stay at Home Mom there are always those moments of Burnout.  Push through and be stronger for it. When you really need help reach out because there are lots of other moms going through the exact same thing as you right now. Burnout is something that we all experience so we should help each other get through those rough patches.

Hang in there - you are in good company.