How to Help Your Teen Develop Independence and Self-Esteem

Staying at home when you’re a working mom sounds like the perfect gig. You don’t have to get dressed in the morning to go to work, you can do whatever you need to do whenever you decide to do it, and everything is laid back and easy.

Ah, if only it were that easy.

Being a stay-at-home mom is a lot more difficult than it would seem. If you work at home, you have to be disciplined and have a schedule that you adhere to so that the job gets done. If you are self-employed, you have an even bigger workload and probably work extra hours. Put this all together with the huge responsibility of taking care of a family and you can’t help but wonder how stay-at-home moms do it.

When kids head full-on into their teen years, they are capable of a lot more than they let on. As a mom, you want to instill values that will help create and solidify independence before they head out into the “real world.” Motivating teens is key to self-learning, and you can do this by showing them ways to do things on their own by helping them find and cultivate their passions in life.

Building websites and blogging

Let’s say your teen plays in the school band. He would like to talk to other kids about music, but he's shy and doesn't interact much with the students at school.

Encourage him to build a website. This could be a great way to communicate with other people about music. Give him ideas about topics his website could cover. Would it be strictly a school site, or would it be open to anyone? Does he want to have separate sections such as brass, woodwinds, and percussion instruments and educate people about each? Does he want to have a forum where teens his age can go when they have a question or just to chat? The possibilities are endless, and it’s a productive way to nurse his passion.

If he only uses the computer a little and has no experience with coding, there are many online programs that will help him learn how to code for free. Codeacademy.com is one such site. If he doesn’t feel like getting into the technical parts of building a website, there are sites that will build a free website or blog for him, as well.

Learning to drive

Does your teen want to learn to drive? A lot of parents think they have to take the “old school” approach; that is, go to the Motor Vehicle Department to pick up the driving manual, study the manual together, give made-up practice tests, etc. If your child could learn the rules of the road by him or herself instead of with your help, it would make your child feel more empowered and improve self-esteem.

Technology can come to the rescue yet again with a website like Driving-tests.org. Choose the state you live in and then moved on to a webpage that will answer a lot of questions and give practice tests. When your child goes to take his or her real permit test, he or she will pass because of his or her effort alone.

All about the girls

Sometimes it seems to be a man’s world, but there are sites geared toward women only. Girl Develop it.com is a site that gives lessons in coding and is all about the girls. Your teen can learn to create smartphone apps, learn HTML and CSS, and more. There are a plethora of resources: brainstorming sessions, events she can attend, and free classes she can take. There is also a great community section and you can check what Girl Development is doing in your city.

It all seems to come down to technology, and in a good way. Show your teen the resources available and you will be doing your mom part by helping him or her develop a sense of independence and better self-esteem by doing something that is enjoyable and independent.